I have had the burden in the last four weeks or so to see five couples that I know separate on the way to divorce. Three of the five in the last five days. Not one of them is sans children. I am currently shaking with anger at the one I just found out about less than an hour ago. What I have to say on marriage is one that I hold very strongly and dear to my heart, so please understand that this is my opinion and based upon biblical truth.
At one point all of these people fell in love and decided to spend the rest of their lives here on this rock as a couple, united together as one. They went and spent much more money than they should have to have family and friends come to celebrate with them this day that they took vows that would start the rest of their lives together. They said words that mentioned good times and wonderful lives and health and prosperity and promised to be a family and all was wonderful. If these people said similar vows to mine that I took almost fifteen years ago they also said they would be with that other person in bad times, poorness, sickness and when it all seemed like nothing good was ahead of them.
Have they forgotten that part? Have we just decided that marriage is all of what I can get out of it? Have we forgotten that it takes work? That because we are all human and are not perfect because of sin that we will make mistakes? Some of those mistakes will be terrible, but we need to work at it. We need to stand up and take responsibility for our word. It is not a renewable contract. It is a forever contract.
If your word can not be trusted with one you love and whom you vowed to stay with forever; with one whom you had children with and spent the most intimate parts of your life with; then what good is your word for anything else? How can anyone trust that you will do what you say? How will your children ever be able to know if you are telling them the truth? This is not the tooth fairy or santa claus. This is their father or mother that you said you would spend the rest of your life with and then decided it was not good enough for you. It was too much work. It did not fit into your life plans.
I am sorry, but that is not what marriage is. It is not all about you. It is sacrifice. It is work. It is hard. You will fight. You will say things you don’t mean and so will your partner. You have to forgive. You have to say you are sorry. You have to move on. You said you would forever.
I do not accept that you can’t do it anymore. Ultimately you mean you won’t do it anymore. The choice is ultimately yours. I won’t stop loving you because you make a bad choice. We all do. I will however watch how you get back up from that. Do you make it right? Can I trust you? Will you do what you know is right? Is your word worth as much as you once thought it was?
In Colossians 2:8 it says, “Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.” (NLT) For all of you out there going through this, listen to what the Bible has to say. Heed the warnings it has. Love its wisdom. It has been time tested and proven true time and again. Divorce is a empty philosophy. Do you really think you will be any happier without your spouse? Do you think your life will be easier? Do you know that you will still be dealing with them for the rest of your lives, especially with children involved. Every holiday, every birthday, every special occasion you will still be sharing with that ex spouse.
